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Upgrading to Windows 8.1: Peanut Butter Smears or a Trip into the Future?

Category: 2013 Published on Monday, 04 November 2013
Mike Berman
Dave Berman

I feel sorry for my peanut butter addicted offspring. If it was up to him we'd still be riding in Model-Ts and listening to radio.

I've been using Windows 8 since it came out and, despite all of the senseless grumblings about the lack of a Start Button and the obvious allergic reactions to the Metro interface, I LIKE IT!!!!

Now, with the upgrade to Windows 8.1, the naysayers HAVE their Start Button, which is practically useless. But it's there, signalling a small victory for those stuck in the past and refusing to change.

There are also no smears (from peanut butter or other things) on my monitor, because the new version of Windows allows you to use either a touchscreen OR a mouse and a keyboard .AND, if you're deathly afraid of the Metro interface, it's very easy to set it up to boot up in the old, familiar desktop to which you've become addicted.

This will allow you to take advantage of all of the features of Windows 8.1 and make your brain think it's running Windows7 - - - or even XP.

What are these features, you ask? Well I'm gonna tell ya:

  • Interactive help, that guides you through navigating and using tools and functions of Windows 8.1
  • Improved multitasking, where you can run several programs at once.
  • You can customize the Metro start page by resizing icons and moving them around.
  • You can boot to the desktop.
  • Remote desktops are easier to set up - - - if you're using Windows 8.1 Pro.

So, you can either remain stuck in the past, when they used to call airplanes areoplanes, or take advantage of the future of computing.


I've never tried Windows 8 or upgraded to 8.1 and I don't feel that I'm missing out.  Correction, I know that I'm not missing out.

My work laptop and gaming desktop are using Windows 7 and it works perfectly fine.  Remember Windows Vista and Windows ME (Millenium)?  I sure wish I didn't .  I tried each and just ended up going back to Windows XP.   Why?  Because the it just worked.  That's all I want from my computer.  I just want stuff to work.

I don't need any touch screen stuff or big fancy multimedia hooks or any new look and feel.  I use my computer for 3 things:

  • Watching cat videos
  • Playing games
  • Writing a blog for a well known feminist website (Playboy)

Lets talk about the touch screen stuff.  First of all, how many consumers with Windows 8 installed on their desktops or laptops have a touch screen?  Probably not that many.  And who really wants a touch screen on their main computer?  Sure we have tablets and phones, but touch screens on the main PC?  Call me old-fashioned (read: smart) but no thanks.  It would just get too messy with the fingerprints and the peanut butter..

Before I get any letters, let me explain.  I have a peanut butter addiction and the last thing I want are peanut butter smears on the monitor.  It just ends up being a sticky mess.

Look and feel.  Whoopdeefrickendoo.  Why do they offer the old look and feel option in Windows 8?   Well maybe because the new look and feel stinks on ice.  I click on an icon to start the program I want in Windows 7.  That's it.  I don't need any fancy transitions or to see a picture of my dog replace some folder icon.  That being said I am a fan of Aero  because it's FUNCTIONAL.

Now about the multimedia stuff.  WHO CARES!!!

I did a lot of research before putting together this very well thought out column.  What can you expect from JOCGEEK in the form of a rebuttal?  Not much.

You're welcome.

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