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Category: Rants Published on Wednesday, 19 January 2011

The 15th Annual Bermie Awards

Another year, more envelopes to open. Yep, it's time for the Annual Bermie Awards. As in the past, all votes have been tabulated by our accounting firm of Me, Myself and I and have been sealed and under guard since this morning.

So, without further ado, and little fanfare, here are the winners of the 15th Annual Bermie Awards:

The I Ain't Got No Rhythm Award goes to all of the iPad addicts that installed the Piano app on their iPads and then attempted to show it off in public.

The I'm Gonna Git You Sucka Award goes to Microsoft for convincing many of us to try the beta version of Internet Explorer 9. Not only is it annoying (with pop-up warning messages appearing every time you try to do something), it has HUGE compatability issues with everything ranging from Facebook to Google.

The Most Addictive Game of the Year Award goes to Bejeweled 3 from Pop-Cap. I only have to point out my bleary-eyed offspring, who stay up until 2:30 a.m. playing the game, to justify this one.

The All I want to Do is Make a Phone Call Award goes to Apple and AT&T for the iPhone 4. Admittedly, this is a "cool" device, but with the antenna placement problems (on the bottom of the phone) and AT&T's inability to provide decent wireless phone service, this baby's a dud. Hopefully things will improve when Verizon gets its hands on the iPhone.

The Awesomnest Online Gaming Award goes to two recipients this year: Blizard for World of Warcraft: Cataclysm and Starcraft: Wings of Liberty and Piraxis for Civilization V. The story line and intense action and graphics of these three online powerhouses defies description! All three drag you into their realms and keep you there for what seems like an eternity (or until your wife says "when are you coming to bed?").

The I'm Not Sure this Needed a New Version Award goes to Microsoft for Microsoft Office 2010. Other than improved integration between apps and a more organized "ribbon," which contains all of the tasks and commands for each program, there's really very little difference between the new and old versions that will benefit the average user.

The It's Beautiful But . . . Award goes to Vtech for their new LS-6245 Bluetooth phone system. This beautifully-crafted, utra-modern-looking device only has one major flaw -- it's almost impossible to make phone calls with it. Its cybernetic keypad and poor sound quality result in a lot of wrong numbers and yelling into the receiver.

The Sit Down and Shut Up Award goes to all of the satellite, cable and TV station owners that continue to squabble over fees while their customers suffer. Get over yourselves and take the viewers' interests into consideration.

That's all for this year, folks. Next year we hope to have Ricky Gervais hosting the Bermies (I hear he's avialable).

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Attention Facebook users: Check out Michael Berman's Jocgeek fan page at www.facebook.com/jocgeek, or follow him on Twitter @jocgeek.  You can also contact him via email at jocgeek@earthlink.net.  Mike's blog can also be found on the Huffington Post website at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-l-berman/.