Sometimes a techie just has to complain

By MIKE BERMAN
Scripps Howard News Service
April 14, 2004

How come ...

• Whenever I really like a product and get to the point where I rave about it to anyone that will listen, it gets gobbled up by a rival company?
• When I perform a Google or Yahoo search I get everything except for the information I need?
• I find myself constantly struggling with "plug and play" devices that plug but won't play?

Anyone that has read my musings knows that I have become addicted to computers manufactured by the good folks at eMachine. In fact, whenever anyone asks me for advice on purchasing a new PC, I always tell them to check out the new eMachine models (for value and efficiency).

So, what happens?

They get gobbled up by Gateway - a company that is in such financial disarray that it is closing all of its retail outlets and will return to its roots as strictly a mail-order PC manufacturer.

The folks at Gateway promise to leave the eMachine alone (it will retain its brand name and will still be sold through electronic and computer stores), but we've all heard that song before. Don't be surprised if we soon see our beloved eMachines completely absorbed by the Gateway cow.

X...X...X

Has this ever happened to you?

You plug your query into your favorite search engine and come up with 10,000 results, none of which have any relevance to your original request. So then you "narrow" your search by putting quote marks around it, and - voila - you only get 9,999 results.

Frustrating isn't it?

Books have been written on the subject as we become a generation of Googleites trying to navigate through cyberspace. But they only serve to make things more complicated, trying to make an exact science out of something that should be as easy as using a toaster oven!

If you really want to see how complicated Internet searches have become, pick up a copy of Google Hacks ($24.95) by Tara Calishain and Rael Dornfest, which contains 352 pages of tips and tricks for navigating the Web using Google.

X...X...X

You've saved up your hard-earned cash and finally purchased that DVD burner, wireless router or other external device you've always wanted.

You tear open the box, which declares that what you've purchased is plug and play, connect it to your computer and you get - nothing.

It's as if the device doesn't exist! Nothing!

But upon close inspection of your new toy, you see that it has USB and firewire interfaces, so you pull a switch - from USB to firewire or vice versa. And there it is, installed and ready to use - for a while. Until it disappears or your computer decides it doesn't like it and coughs it up like a cat does with a fur ball.

You call technical support and they ask you the usual questions:

• Is your computer turned on?
• Are you connected using a USB or firewire cable?
• Do you have more than a fifth-grade education?

The end result? You pull the cables, pop the device back into its box and trade it in for the first year of "The Sopranos."

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